How do you know I’m unhappy?

Fang Jin
2 min readOct 31, 2022
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

When someone did something bad to me, but still expect me to be happy, I guess this is when I feel unhappy.

Surprisingly! He just ask me to lower my income by 80% and still expect me to be happy! This made me want more of my freedom. — Trade Vic by Victor Sperandeo

It’s a bit funny that bad things do not make me unhappy all the time. Sometimes bad things make me calm and give me un-asked-for strength to pull myself out of the situation.

However a misunderstanding comment from others is something that for sure makes my very unhappy. Because it gives me doubts and puts me question myself about my past judgements. Thus it makes me angry, since I need to fight it off asap. Maybe this is my defense mechanism kicking in.

Lesson learned

I guess everybody can have a bad day and everyone’s life can have up and down. So it’s ok to have someone unhappy. But you don’t have to put yourself into his shoes right away if you were just trying to be nice. Simply because you don’t actually, probably 100% true, know his situation, and know how many damage has occurred to the person who’s sad.

Not to mention the above statement is most likely coming from your boss, whoever might “control” your life if not trying to continue control your life. The boss obviously isn’t playing nice here, instead he’s playing nice to himself so that it doesn’t make himself look bad in the situation. So in case you are a boss, don’t try to sugar coat a bad situation like this. To be honest, this is really mean!

What’s the best you can do? You might ask me. If you really really want to be nice. Feel the person’s pain, let the pain dissolve a bit into the conversation and do nothing else. This is the basic you can do, and trust me, not the worst you can do.

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Fang Jin
Fang Jin

Written by Fang Jin

Front-end Engineer, book author of “Designing React Hooks the Right Way” and "Think in Recursion"

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